then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
