Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
