i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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