he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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