Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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