I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize