woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
