Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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