Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I could fuck to npr.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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