your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
