12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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