I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
