Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
