She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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