I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
