Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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