Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
