Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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