I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
