On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
