why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
