I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
