So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize