Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
