I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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