I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
