She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
