If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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