too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
