i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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