He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
