I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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