And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
