my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
