he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
