with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
