Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
