Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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