sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
