I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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