I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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