Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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