I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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