hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
