Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
