i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have feelings that need drinking.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
