He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
