the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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