im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
