woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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